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History of a Drifter....((Part 1))

 
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 4:47 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter....((Part 1)) Reply with quote

Date: 3/8/98 11:28 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Syous989

As the crowd cleared as the end of Sunday's dueling session ended (3/8/98) and he glumly exited his ring after yet another depressing performance from the newest Mage. Rubbing the newly made scar, from earlier that week down his left eye, he cursed the lone mind whip that had hit him that night. Little did he know the last strike to the head had been laid. For weeks now, his performance had been degrading as the voices of one he could not identify from memories he had pushed to the back of his mind began to haunt him. The birthday of the one he loved so long ago had come and gone as the twenty-second of February passed by...but she had been long forgotten, for the last time he had thought of her, he had almost destroyed himself...and because of it, had promised never to risk thinking of her again. Sothe voices continued, as he dismissed the possibility of it being her voice which called to him over and over and over in his head.Standing by the tree, which he is usually found leaning upon, it struck...like a lightning bolt from the skys, his head was filled with memories of his past, memories which he had hidden with time, the memories which made him the unfortunate person he is today. But only the memory of one struck down his soul...the memory which he had forced himself to dispose of...the memory of a love that never happened. The memory of the one who caused his heartto freeze...into the (almost) complete emotionless person which he had been before melting slightly into Rhydin's hospitality and kindness, not to mention the release of the tension and anger through the DoM, created by hiding his memories and who he truly is. Fleeing the island, hoping to escape the visions he now once again remembered, he was lucky no one he knew saw the tears of pain, weakness, and the cold broken heart he carried as the memories of a past, which was like another lifetime to him now, flooded his mind.... ((end part 1))
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 4:50 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter ((Part 2)) Reply with quote

...as he returned from his room at one of the unknown inns in Rhydin he knew that here, on the island, he could relive those fateful days so long ago, and perhaps talk to the one he had loved...if she was there in some sort of form to listen, without any interruptions from anything but the animals which lived upon the islands, and perhaps a few goblins who had not returned to their homes upon the island from the earlier that night...Displaces back onto the island looking around with his red bloodshot eyes hoping that he is alone, even though already knowing the answer to his search...that the island would be deserted and all who had been on the island before would be at home with their loved ones...or ones they could call friends. After satisfying himself with the knowledge of his lone presance upon the isle, displaces himself toward the rolling meadow part of the island,wobbling to the nearby cliff. Reaching the edge of the cliff, collapses onto his knees from the exhaustion put on his mind from the memories which had flooded back into his conscience. Looking upwards, towards the blanket of night with its speckled starts and the island's twin full moons, closes his eyes for a moment...only to open them with the look of pain, lonliness, and sorrow..."Why," he called out towards the night, "Why did you have to leave me.""I loved you, I know I loved you with all my heart.""I had never felt the way I felt for you my whole life..." lowers his head..."and I still feel that way for you, and only you today.Whispers to himself, "...and you never knew." A drop of love, pain, and sorrow in the form of a tear runs down the left side of his face, guided by the scar until falling to the Island soil. "...and you never knew." Pauses for a moment closing his eyes as the tears begin to fall even more frequently, not allowing the wet trace left behind upon his face to dry.Raises his head as he yells out in the direction of he night, "...Why did you have to die for me!!!!!!!!!!!!" A few birds fly away from the brush behind him, frightened by the noise of his yell, not noticing him once again let his neck muscles loose, causing him to once again look down and whisper, "...why did you die for me?" Before letting all the rising emotions break his control and release themselves through jolts of pain and tremors in hisbody, tears, and a mental pain, undescribable to words, he collapses onto the island floor beneath the twin moons, speaking only a last thought as his eyes close..."My Elise...oh my Lisa...why did fate chose to end your life..."...collapsing from the emotion, exhaustion, and pain that he had experienced that day he would find a few hours of peace as his mind went into a state of unconsciousness leaving his memories and pains only to find their way into the nightmares (or dreams?) which he would not be aware of as he awoke. Both the Island's goblins, which he feared so much after the day Dans had caused them to scare him, and the Island's variety of animals which had the courage to approach the motionless body could not bring him out of his deep sleep as they examined him by poking him (the goblins) and licking his bare face and arms (animals), so they too left him alone.Syous of Mystara would awake very early that morning, before the rising of the sun for his sleep could only be retained by his exhaustion...once it ended his conscious brought him back to reality, retaining all of the memories and events of the night before. But as he displaced off the island giving one last look towards the setting moon, he knew that what he had gone through was far from over...and that he would have to work hard to keep fromletting others discover who he truly was and what had happened that night...for trust for even his deepest friends had vanished with the death of his beloved...and with information of his past, he was vulnerable. He knew he could no longer act as the person he had become since arrivng in Rhydin, but he would have to work around it. Suddenly remembering how love was expressed on the island through the couples of Dans and Golden, as well as Marleyand Dera, he knew he would have to cope without showing any sorrow for himself in their presence. Worried that he may never find a way to end what he was going through, he quickly wrapped his arms around himself to give himself "some" support...but then another chill ran through him as he displaced away...would he be able to cope with whatever it was that he was going through, or had the birth of a new Syous occured...one that would form into anunwanted, and perhaps evil person... he could not be sure...for what would happen with his life from now on depended on his actions, thoughts, and the way he would present himself. The quest he had now started on, by race and culture, when he was only six years old as he left his family, was not even close to the one he would now have to travel upon, for the start of his true struggle had just begun...((End part 2))((Continued in Part 3....perhaps, but at a different time... [will depend on certain factors I guess, oh and don't forget to OOC respond to this little tragedy of mine if you wish to that is...until next time, if I decide on continuing...farewell]))
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 4:56 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter...Night before the tourney. ((Part 3)) Reply with quote

...Returns upon the deserted island yet again but this time not from another vision of his Elise...but of the coming night ahead, or in other words, to create a peace within himself before the coming tourney... Although he had regained the strength to balance his emotions and feelings while upon the island...much was still hidden beneath the one shown to all upon the island during the previous week. He could even tell by the way people had begun to treat him, that they too noticed. ....Displaces onto the edge of the island, then back to the cliff where he collapsed the previous time he arrived upon the island after going through a night of painful memories. Looks out towards the sky as he always does in times when he is alone and in thought. Kneels down quickly running his fingers partway through his black/ silver streaked hair...letting them rest at the top-back part of his head. Lets out a sigh of relief as he relieves himselfof the energy he has been using to create the happy, improving appearance he has been showing all for the last week. Puts his hands down at his side as he arches his back unitl the vision of the tops of the trees upon the island come into view. Goes back to his normal crouched-kneeling position letting his head hang loose as he closes his eyes. Looks out over the cliff and then up back towards the night sky himself ready to speak..."My Lisa..oh my Lisa...please somehow forgive me for forgetting about you.. ::Grins sligthly:: "I was a fool back then...and perhaps have remained that fool as I have blocked your voice from my ears for so long. ::Lets his neck go loose again causing him to stare down at the soil before him:: "Please Elise, release me from your haunt for it shall drive me to insanity." "Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute I hear your scream over and overas I see you struck down by the bolt released from her hands...Over and over I find myself watching you die and then turning my back upon your dead body" "I know you control those visions Elise....even I remember holding your body for hours until our mentor prying me away with tears still streaming from my eyes." "You know what I felt when you died...whe you died I myself died." "I had to forget you!" "Or I would have died a mindless confused"child" upon your body who still had his quest to fulfill." "You must understand Lisa...I love you...and have always loved you...I am sorry that until now it has not surfaced...but I remember now...why I loved you and why I must remember the love we had, even if it brings more pain. I only ask for your forgivness and for a chance at love if there is a life where we will exist together once again. Until tomorrow then...remember that I love you."Rises up off the ground of the island wiping one of his cheeks slightly removing the tear. Wipes another off from the opposite side. Puts both his hands to his eyes covering them as the cycle running through his head finishes once again but this time as the way it did...with him laid out upon her body sobbing himself almost to his own death by grief. Feels a slight drop of water on the top of his hand causing himself to quickly look up towards thesky. Starts crying with a smile as a slight drizzle begins to pour down upon him. Puts two finger from his righ hand up to his lips...kisses them...and holds them out slightly towards the sky whispering another call of his love for her. His tears of both sadness and joy of her forgivness merge with the drops of water from the sky. Opens his arms in a sign of embracment as he lets the drizzle soak him before making his way back towards the rings. Finds his ever-loved tree taking a seat against watching the rain drip down in front of him off the long green leaves above him. Sighs and falls into a deep sleep, his first without the complete pain of the memory of her death haunting him. He would soon awaken the next morning at sunrise, for a long day of preparation and training was ahead of him. To even have the slimmest chance of a duel with the Archmage, he would need to prepare himself back to the state of dueling before the Elise incident. The coming night would be either the sign of the return of the old Syous...or the continuation of the new and focused one. Seven and a half hours after he wakes will he know if he will findhimself as he was...or if he will stay the same...on a path back to the ranks of apprentice...History of a Drifter...Night before the Tourney...((End Part 3...substory))
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 6:18 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter...Return. ((Part 4)) Reply with quote

When he last left off...Syous had finally thought that his torment had ended. Elise's voice had subsided....but the question, as he would soon find out, was not had they ended, but for how long...

... He had dueled enough to satisfy him, at least enough to satisfy him after the ordeal he had been put through for the past while. He did not achieve the opportunity for his revenge upon Lord Wulfson...but defeats he gave as well as received before being eliminated from the tourney. Not long after Lord Wulfson upheld his position as Archmage of the Duel of Magic, regular dueling once more began. His dueling did not improve, but degenerated no
more...nor did his mental state. But it had only been a few weeks into the cycle when he still realized something was still wrong. He looked at himself but saw nothing different other than himself without the pain and guilt that he had been experiencing before....but it was in the eyes of those around him....both those within the Duel of Magic as well as those he would see in Rhydin that began to bring chills to his spine....for he saw himself the
same as before in other's eyes....still the haunted, guilty, and unstable Syous he had seen only weeks before. Troubled by this now, his dueling abilities began to degenerate once more...and his hold of the rank of Mage began to slip once again. It was then that a bit of panic once more began to set in...for now, though he did not realize it....the voices had done their job....guilt was now his enemy....guilt from within. Looking at himself in
others eyes began to take its toll....and perhaps he would have slipped...had it not been for the one who had helped him much before....Lord Lem Angelo. As he had done before...Lord Angelo once more bestowed his advice upon Syous after one of the dueling nights early in the cycle. Syous had stayed after the visit the cliff he had become so fond of once more...to think and analyze what was wrong... There Lord Angelo caught him as he had done awhile
before...and told him as he had done before....all duelers eventually must take leave from their dueling....if not in retirement, then at least as a break to either move on or explore... Simple words...yet for Syous, they would come to make quite the difference.

It was only a day after...and as Lord Angelo had described...there would come a day when he would realize it was his time to leave. That day had come....though come it had long ago...fortunately it still beckoned him with a pulse like ray....and that ray he now at last felt and understood. Perhaps it was not directly related to the Duel of Magic...or even mages at that....but something beckoned him...and he would ignore it no longer. Without even
a trace....without even a goodbye....he left. Where he was going he did not know...all he knew was that he had to leave. He would eventually find the source of the call....or at least what he thought was the source...his home. So back to the Lands of Mystara he went. Making his journey not with the powers of his magic....but by simple foot...perhaps as a sort of pilgrimage to the lands he left and had not returned to for almost 10 years. For any
it would seem the sensible place to go in times of distress and trouble...but the Lands of Mystara held memories...some good....most bad, painful, and haunting. As he set foot upon those lands know to him as his homeland...he was not confronted by the warmth brought on by the word....but a coolness....a place he should have known as "home," but did not.

There were however two locations with the "cold" lands that he did wish to visit...and the first he headed for with but only a pause to accept his return. When his footsteps at last stopped, he found himself near the cliffs of Mystara, and its nearby meadows. Looking back towards the flowing meadows and then off the cliffside, he noticed it was much like the meadows and cliffs of the Twilight Island where he would spend much of his time when not
dueling. Though similar...this place where he now stood held much importance...looking out towards the dusk-set sky, the appearing stars, and one characteristic the Island does not have....the darkening blue ocean, memories as always by cliffside...filled his senses. Not memories of guilt and pain....this time memories of a child....two children....himself and Elise when they had just met and were still children...playing in the meadows and looking
out over the cliff when not practicing their magic skills with their mentor. But most of all, he remembered how they would laugh and smile at such a simple thing as running through the meadows....so pure...so true...just like her eyes would always remain...in life and death. When the memories of their childhood play finally faded...and his eyes opened once more, and as he did he saw a rising sun. From dusk to early dawn the vision had
remained....and though as startled as he was he suddenly realized what he had left to do.

Before leaving Rhydin...without thought he had bought a single red, long-stemmed rose. Around its stem he encased it in a small container filled with water...and off it went into one of his cloak's pockets only to be forgotten of, until the dawning of the sun. His mentor had once told him when he had visited him one last time in Rhydin before his eventual death where Elise had been buried....and so off he went...his final destination.

His final destination would not be far...Elise had been buried where she was most often found....near the cliffs. The sun was still in its early stages of rising as Syous finally found himself beside the only tree in sight....a young small dogwood...its young buds all in blood producing the sweetest of scents from its flowers. In front of the dogwood lay the source of his return trip to his "home," (Though not knowingly) a small plaque....with the
name of his beloved...Elise Durmont. No words were spoken as he stood....he just looked down at her name...closing is eyes slightly to remember her appearance or at least how he remembered her before her death....once again...her smile....her eyes still enchanted him...their purity and youth. He then opened his eyes suddenly as he removed the rose from his cloak pocket...still as fresh as when he bought it...yet months old. After gently removing
the case he gently held it, both sets of fingers wrapped around its long stem, pricking him and drawing blood...but bothering him...for he was lost once more as the rose was held right before his face....remembering both the good times, the bad times, and all those times he wished to just wrap his arms around her and tell her of his love for her. With those final memories running through his head, the rose was touched first to his forehead...then
slowly to his lips, and then kneeling...down to rest in its final place upon the plaque. With that done, he rose...almost as quickly as he kneeled...giving one last bow....one last blown kiss, and one last soft "I love you," before turning as the dawn finally set...


With that done...there was no more. He now realized that she had not haunted him for his grief....but for a last goodbye...and a last I love you. He had finally shown her his love...and be it in death, it was done. There were no more goodbyes to give...his longing, his guilt, and his pain for his love were now over...as she had been so long ago...they were at last put to rest...and so was he. His leave from Rhydin was over...though many pains
still remained in Mystara as he glanced back one ore time before leaving the Lands...he knew that they would never be cured....but the pain that had consumed him..to the point of almost destroying his mind was healed at last... His next destination...his current home....Rhydin. Back to those friends who had thought him lost even before he left...back to those who saw him change...to show that at last, he would be as he was....the Syous of Mystara
they had all once known...perhaps much directed towards his friends as well as the participants within the Duel of Magic....but most of all...to himself. His rage and pain tempered....his mind balanced...he was ready to return...

...and return he has....perhaps still not himself completely...rusty as put by some...but nonetheless, striving to become the Syous people once saw him as....and perhaps even more....
______________________________________________________________________

History of a Drifter...Return..((End Part 4))
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 7:26 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter... Shifting Tides...((Part 5)) Reply with quote

All had been so well...his past pain put to comfort. His rage tempered. His mind at last balanced. His leave of the Isle for those few months had done him well...for when he returned he no longer felt the guilt that plagued his mind long before. In the eyes of his friends...comfort was at last found. His luck had changed, and another entered his life...who perhaps some could say he cared for. At last he had found peace...but
unfortunately...all good things in his life eventually came to an end...

So much changed between then and now....first the death of the one who perhaps one day...if she had felt the same...could have loved..despite all that he had said about such emotion in the past. It ripped his heart as he heard of how she had been killed....for she had spoken of it with him the very night before.......and so the guilt returned. He became silent, and the realization of fate's cruel hand in his destiny pained him greatly....but he
had friends...the kindness...the warmth...the trust...

But that too was something good...and so it was destined to one day come to an end...and so it did. A simple conversation is how it began...then an interruption...and soon after a heated argument that he had wished to end in challenge but was denied... for it would end as the arbitrator, the one who he held in high regard, the one who without words he had given his utmost respect, the one who won his trust.... pointed his revolver straight at his
forehead, threatening his life as he told him to stop.... and so it would end. He had been wounded...and deep was the wound, though all was not lost. True the one who had harmed him, the one who he silently revered...had shattered his dearest "friendship," but there were others who had his respect...and who he knew he could call his friends. So the letter was written...to see how those of the isle would react to such an encounter....to see how his
"friends" would have responded, had they been in the arbitrator's position...and to his surprise...they saw no fault...

The salt was added to the wound.....

Slowly, the dreams, the hopes, the warmth, the respect....the friendship...and most of all, the trust... began to crack and crumble and wither away. The flame that was his rage found itself rekindled... He would no longer greet those who roamed the isle...he would no longer show respect to those he would duel, a habit he held since day one. He was changing once again...but this time...it was as if it were welcomed...

The final mark would come, as the one who he had detested so so long ago...would at last make it clear, or at least by his interpretation: It had all been his dream...the friendship, the respect, even the trust. The isle was not a dreamland, was not a haven, as he had believed since his first night upon the isle. It was like any other location in the realm....full of hate, full of dishonor, full of disrespect, and full of distrust. Even those who
he had thought of as "friends" .... perhaps they had led him only to believe so...

...and so the journey began....though the path he now followed, was one that he would find nearly impossible to shift, "if" ... he ever decided he had chosen wrong.... There would be few who would argue with him and the decision he had made...some who would curse him, others who simply began to ignore him. At first those who bothered to try and sway his decision brought him much grief...for he had felt close to them...after all they were his
friends. But the path he had chosen...and the feeling of betrayal left his will to continue on burning strong...

Slowly, the Syous of past would be forgotten...and the attempts to have him consider the path he had taken faded away. At last they had left him alone. Alone...as perhaps fate had all along wished him to be. However, a part of him still longed for the friendship...still longed for the warmth...and still longed for the trust. At first, he knew not how to rid himself of the part of him from cycles past...but finally it dawned on him...

...and so the finally leg of his journey began...
______________________________________________________________________

History of a Drifter...Return..((End Part 5))
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 4:46 pm    Post subject: History of a Drifter ((Part 6a)) Reply with quote

History of a Drifter... Away into the Darkness ...(Part 6a)

Darkness. Pure darkness.
It was just as he wanted it.
Away...away from everyone and everything.

Not long ago "that" feeling returned, a most unpleasant feeling. One he described as a burning disease that slowly tainted all that was pure within him. He had felt it once before...back when he was weak and let feelings such as sorrow consume him. But things had changed since then...he was no longer weak, or so he thought. Yes, this time it was different...he did not know what it was, but things were definately not the same. All he knew was
that this illness was affecting him in many ways. He had grown much weaker since before he started feeling the gnawing maladictions of this feverish disease. Not only that but it was quite evident that his concentration and dueling abilities had been greatley affected as well. A sense of worry crept over him. It had been his weak spirit and guilt that had let the disease invade his soul so long ago. He was barely able to rid himself of the
disease before it drove him to insanity by finally finding the courage to confront his demons and the hauntings of his past. But this time he wasn't weak...and he felt no guilt...there were no demons or past occurrences that he had left to confront. What was it then? He had no idea...all he knew was that if he did not rid himself of whatever illness was affecting him....he would surely lose his mind from the disgust he felt within.

The words still echoed their burning message within his head..
fueling his anger...feeding his rage...
Finally...someone had the courage, the courage to put him in his place...

It was the last straw... His discussion with Lady Poison Romanov had already angered him enough that night, reviving the painful memories of that night he was betrayed and how in those few fleeting moments of life his view on existence changed so drastically... No longer a naive, optimistic soul...but now a bitter, cold-spirited void. He needed time away...away from it all. Time to temper his madness...control his rage after all that had been
said that night. Time to rid himself of the disease that seemingly affected him more and more each day. It was as if it was feeding on him. In his mind, seclusion was the key. Away from the duels, away from the duelists, away from the Twilight Island he would find his peace...he would find his cure...and so away he crept into his darkness.

______________________________________________________________________

History of a Drifter... Away into the Darkness ...(Part 6a)
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